Driving out to the former nursing college to be poked, prodded, scanned and measured has something of the school trip about it for the players, because it's not a holiday, but it's not like going to work either, and most of all because they get to wear their own clothes.
Manchester City definitely have more than £42m in money, so it should be a simple matter to tell them to pay more of it to our club.
All is forgiven in promotion. "Look at the clown!" said Michel, as Saiz came on camera for a hug. "We fight, and love each other," Michel said. Saiz had come to say nice things.
That's the theory, anyway. Let's look at some Brenden Aaronson goals and see how they measure for Bowyerism.
Having Huddersfield Town in the Premier League again was going to be a high price to pay for bringing Tom Lees up here, but both their dreams were dashed at Wembley on Sunday anyway.
Why would anyone leave Champions League football and a lifestyle lifted from The Sound of Music for the bottom of the Premier League and life in fucking Leeds?
This is a man I assumed to have the highest aesthetic standards in football, and now I'm forced to picture him roaring his approval as Danny Ward runs the clock down in a corner of Wembley.
Leeds United were brave, in 2018, hiring Marcelo Bielsa to change the club's culture. But Premier League paranoia was too powerful in the end.
Marcelo Bielsa's obsessive practice of his life's work gives football the true seriousness it needs for us to remember that it's only a game.
Marcelo Bielsa should be a football club owner's dream. Can you help him? No. He is here to help you.