A Swedish fan suggested Northern Ireland get themselves ready for West Germany in training: 'To prepare yourselves for it you should collect many small boys with cow bells, cow horns and other instruments to keep up a steady racket.'
Players aren't on the list, let alone given a close-up in sight or sound: it's everything but the game. Zoom in and overdub them if you have to, but I'm yearning for this World Cup to give me lingering long takes over the knees of Ao Tanaka.
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Watching Antoine Semenyo, and thinking, maybe we should have given Dave Hockaday another chance. Are these the fantasies a World Cup is supposed to give us? Maybe Leeds fans have no other kind.
Cush was an ironic new hero for the Peacocks, a 5ft 4in 'pocket Hercules' taking over from 6ft 3in 'Adonis of a youth' John Charles. But he'd caught Leeds' eye in an international for Northern Ireland, when he had tamed John Charles' attempts for Wales.
At a Uruguayan FA summit, with five of his coaching staff on chairs and sofas alongside him, Marcelo Bielsa gave a presentation about what, he said, "we do in our free time".
Gabriel Gudmundsson was asked what exactly had been wrong with him, and replied, "I don’t want to go into it. It’s better to keep it secret." Which came to my mind when Marcelo Bielsa told the press: "I believe there's a limit in terms of what we need to explain."
"Look, there’s no secret to the way we play," Bielsa said. "But, well, those are intentions, and then we have to make them a reality."
John Charles was a proud Welshman who, like many footballers, loved representing his country. He faced a barrier to his international aspirations, though, because he was the best player in the world.
Players aren't on the list, let alone given a close-up in sight or sound: it's everything but the game. Zoom in and overdub them if you have to, but I'm yearning for this World Cup to give me lingering long takes over the knees of Ao Tanaka.
Tactics, strategy and many, many PowerPoints. We got a new team and we're getting a new West Stand, so how are things looking in the manager's office and the boardroom?
One by one, and goal by goal, let's rate Leeds United's attackers from last season in descending order of how many minutes they played.