An experienced Premier League striker who has scored two consecutive seasons in double figures and played and scored for England, who just needs to stay fit and recover the form he showed under Carlo Ancelotti for the next few years to become the prime of his career — and he's free?
Still and always footballers will yawn through the presentation, listen to a coach babbling down the phone, and then do what they want anyway.
At some point in the intervening years I stopped associating this shirt with club legends like Danny Mills, Teddy Lucic and Paul Okon.
English football seems to be shifting its emphasis towards NFL style front-office departments as a means, I suspect, of making investors feel better about their gambles.
The game has been so successful in selling loyalty back to fans that the thing loyal fans hate most is the idea that a marketing campaign might work and attract new fans — ugh!
Uruguay's poor form has been, one reporter wrote, 'not a surprise, but the chronicle of a disaster foretold'. Marcelo Bielsa, of course, has heard the arguments. He doesn't agree with them.
When the old West Stand goes down, almost 70 years of tradition will go with it. Meanwhile Leeds are going up, to the Premier League, where everyone is looking for something new. And expensive.
"Memories like this can’t be bought. There will never be another day like this," Howard Wilkinson told the crowd in the Town Hall, and even the other days like that weren't quite like it.
Would Joe Rodon come out in a 1992 Umbro tracksuit? Would Pascal Struijk do a Jon Newsome and nearly drop the cup? Would Illan Meslier say he doesn't know why he loves us, but he loves us?
Leeds fans are, as Farke says, emotional. It doesn't matter how it makes the manager feel, as Howard Wilkinson once said, but it mattered that the team saw their manager using fans' emotions as fuel for his own calm. Since Chris Wilder called his club's fans a 'disgrace', Leeds have won every game.