This season is for giving in to modern football's desire for turning itself into the worst kind of office work, for ensuring incremental off-field progress is supported by meeting predetermined on-field key performance indicators, i.e., not getting flipping relegated.
The Baseball Ground's half-time song was, 'Brian Deane is a wanker', and Jim Smith's tactic was to keep five at the back but also two up front and keep up the sort of pressure that had striker Marco Gabbiadini trying to get to the ball through Richard Jobson's face. It worked.
Sometimes Leeds can get trapped by their own smoothness. Ethan Ampadu's performance was the rough edge that let Derby think they were in a game — the wrong game.
Joe Rodon headed the opening goal from a corner like a harbinger of doom. It's always been a case of careful what we wish for from set-pieces. The games can be uneventful enough without Leeds settling things that way. If goals are only coming two-by-two at least let one of them be a thunderbastard.
Match of the Day's usual policy was not to sensationalise violence. But a fight between two high profile personalities raised new questions about the role of media in football and society. To Norman Hunter, though, it was all panto.
⭑ This might be the stupidest thing I've ever set out to write ⭑ There are 15,600 words ahead ⭑ But I felt like this had to exist ⭑ If you're still high off the title, don't let this disrupt your buzz
Frank Lampard has perfected the in-game suit, the respectful soundbite, and the pensive touchline stance; as Bielsa beamed kindly at him at full-time, like a vet about to do what's best for Lampard's favourite pet, Frank looked shocked.
Remember, smoking is bad for your health. As is watching Leeds United, by and large. The three main threats to a United fan’s wellbeing so far this season have been familiar ones: expectancy, hope and undefinable disappointment.