Symbol lies: Leeds United's salute crest, 2018-2018

The 'salute crest', 2018-2018, unless it rises on the third day, did at least achieve one of its objectives, by catapulting Leeds United back into the big time: back where we belong.

Success at the top level isn't only measured on the pitch anymore. Meme vs meme is what it’s all about these days, one social media account manager mugging off another in the guises of football clubs, with ever more elaborate and intertextually related new signing reveal videos and goal celebration gifs. (Or corner celebrations, if you're Huddersfield Town.) How long, I wonder, before the first big-name big-money transfer between Premier League Twitter accounts? "We've signed a precocious talent," their new club will announce, "Who can do incredible things in Hootsuite."

Leeds United, of course, like the great Revie and Wilkinson teams of old, didn’t just step timidly into this top flight fray. They mixed it for a while with the rival clubs, of course, and then the betting brands, while the sports media websites fought frantically for variations on that one Gaviscon joke, and nobody bothered searching Shutterstock to see if that stock image screenshot was legit (it wasn't). But by 4pm Leeds were letting the also-rans fight it out against each other, moving onwards and upwards to bigger adversaries. Zenit St Petersburg. Zamalek SC of Egypt. The History Channel. A petition large enough to make a totalitarian dictator blink. The Premier League conquered, Leeds were taking on the world. Hello, hello, United are back.

This is modern football, pushing itself towards ever more banterous precipices, and Leeds, stuck for so long in the long ago, rushed headlong over the cliff like Wile E. Coyote chasing Manchester City’s Road Runner, scrambling their feet uselessly in mid-air before hurrying back to the safety of the Second Division. "Meep meep!" trilled City, which roughly translated means, "You might have seen what we’ve done, but until you understand how we’ve done it and why, you’d better stay on solid ground, Leeds."

Which was where most of Leeds United’s fans wished they’d stayed in the first place. Or at least, if they were going to go darting out into the future — "The next one hundred years," said the press release — the people in charge of the club could give them a bit more notice than, well, none.

The club saw it differently. "Six months!" they blared, proudly telling the teacher about all the homework they’d done. "10,000 people!" None of whom had any idea what was coming. There had been a "rigorous" consultation process, according to Leeds United MD Angus Kinnear, but none of the 10,000 who took part had any memory of being asked about a new club crest. Had their minds been wiped as part of some weird Orwellian experiment? No. They just hadn't been asked about a new club crest. Instead fans had been asked generalities in an online survey, that included hints that the well beneath the pitch will soon be gushing forth an elixir for everlasting life: 'What changes would you like to see in the next 100 years?' 'What makes you proud to be a Leeds fan?' 'What do you consider to be iconic symbols for Leeds United that have endured in the last 100 years?'

Flicking through Leeds United's exercise book for 'Our Big Consultation Project' is a painful experience; there is obviously a lot of hard work in there, but they haven't reached any of the right answers. 'A lot of fans told us they don’t like the current club crest.' Right. 'And a lot of fans told us that they like the Leeds salute.' Okay. 'So we gave them what they wanted: a new club crest with the Leeds salute on it.' Wait — what — what are you doing? 'Do we get an A?'

Compounding it all was the big reveal. The club has a supporters advisory board, which is a good idea, but the SAB can’t be useful if they’re only going to be shown things the night before a launch, when it’s too late to change anything. Eighteen hours before the announcement is not the time to start seeking feedback on a six month project, which makes me think feedback was not what was being sought, but backslaps, thank yous and congratulations. The club thought that giving the fans what they wanted without fans having asked for it was the same thing as engagement. That was, like the whole exercise, a mistake.