Derby County 1-2 Leeds United: Lit Up
Remember, smoking is bad for your health. As is watching Leeds United, by and large. The three main threats to a United fan’s wellbeing so far this season have been familiar ones: expectancy, hope and undefinable disappointment.
When you’ve got one of those lighters that just won’t draw, no matter how many times you flick it; no matter with what determination flicking turns to coaxing to relentless, grim grinding of flint against metal. And you’re dying for a cigarette.
And then you crack it, and the flint and the metal do their job, and the flame stands tall and true; and other factors kick in, like the fact it’s raining and there’s a gale blowing and your cigs are damp anyway and all you light is the tip of your nose before you’re back to square one. The lighter drew, but that’s all it can do, draw. And your cigarette is no nearer to being smoked than it ever was.
This would be a good time to quit. Because remember, smoking is bad for your health.
As is watching Leeds United, by and large. The three main threats to a United fan’s wellbeing so far this season have been familiar ones: expectancy, hope and undefinable disappointment. Expectancy, because with Uwe Rosler around, Chris Wood expensive, and last season’s young quartet still here, Leeds fans have had reason to be optimistic. Hope, because at times this season United have looked like fulfilling that optimism, instead of leaving us all carrying an echoing painful abyss through another meandering season. And undefinable disappointment, because nobody can really be angry about loads of draws, can they, just as they can’t really be happy about them; so we end up a bit miffed, not sure what to think about things, waiting for something to happen and happen properly.
That thing could quite reasonably have been a defeat. That’s what we usually get from trips to Derby, and at least it would have been a reminder of what it’s like to feel something after a result. Imagine if we’d gone there this weekend and been hammered. You know, been really battered, with scandalous performances from half our team and substitutions that defy reason. Three-nil down and we bring Doukara on for Cook and lose by six, that sort of thing. Imagine how it would have ruined your afternoon, your whole weekend, not even the Rhinos could lift it; neighbours keeping their pets indoors, fragile ornaments removed from front rooms. It would have been terrible. But it would have been better than another draw.
Leeds United, remarkably, looked like they’d solved the problem in a different way in the first half against Derby. Five games into the season, the heavy metal Uwe Rosler promised was finally delivered down the M1 on an outsize flatbed truck, courtesy of Lewis Cook Hauliers; he wasn’t the only one to up his game — or no longer look too knackered to compete — but the way he took a grip on this match on his return from suspension confirmed one of the theories about the lacklustre last few games: we’ve missed Lewis, and we need him.