Birth, marriage, sex, work, death, religion and salvation in the hereafter. Football has beaten down and replaced them all. But when this film interweaves interviews with Everton's actual players, such consuming football passion turns ominous.
LUFC kissing cousins the 49ers were going for the Super Bowl, against a team that looked like LUFC should.
Time for some good old fashioned pathetic fallacy, Jimmy Garoppolo dragging a sled of brandy like a rescue husky through a blizzard.
Don't forget the Niners have hitched themselves to the Leeds United funtrain, and anything play-off related just isn't going to be that easy.
It's a few weeks since we checked in with our San Franciscan kissing cousins, and already this weekend it was the vital regular season closer.
That season Leeds proved that real life isn't like Football Manager, and you can't just set a European search for 15+ potential and throw a team together, not least because what you get in real life are not avatars, but real people who crave real German sausages.
The Athletic say the bit by bit investment that 49ers Enterprises, the money-not-football arm growing from throwing-not-kicking club San Fransisco 49ers, has a structure to it that we didn't know about before.
Now that 49ers Enterprises' stake in Leeds United is 44%, it's time to look more seriously at the body from which the investment arm of our future touch-rugby overlords grew.
Bielsa always says two challenges face Leeds in the Premier League. When up against richer and more accomplished opponents, Leeds have to force them to play worse. And when other teams try to force Leeds into playing worse, Leeds have to maintain their own game.
Imagine being the first person to greet him after his retreat. They might have thought this madman would never stop talking. 'So what you're saying is, Marcelo,' they might interrupt in a breath-long pause after a night's talk has run on into breakfast, 'Maradona was a good player?'